Recently I saw ‘Saheb Biwi Ghulam’, the classic in monotone
that finds its place in every ‘Must See Bollywood Films’ list. I was moved to
see the plight of the protagonist, Choti Bahu essayed by the famous tragedienne,
Meena Kumari. She tried everything; from procuring the ‘miraculous’ Mohini Sindur
to turning an alcoholic in order to keep her husband home and was honor-killed
in the end (she was suspected of having an affair with the Ghulam, who was actually
helping her in her sacred mission). Today this thought in itself is capable of
mortifying any woman. Loving somebody heart and soul is one thing but demolishing
one’s own personality to achieve some elusive destination is something which
any self-respecting and sensible woman of today’s times would not think of.
From the woman in the house who was not even allowed to step out or get
photographed (yes, even photographed! Legendary singer D.K. Pattammal was
severely reprimanded in her childhood when she was accidentally photographed singing)
to today’s confident diva who can run companies, parliament, runaway to
production houses; name a field where women have not gloriously trodden and
I’ll offer a pranam to you. It’s not
an overnight leap; I remember that in my childhood, I used to hear people say
that boys are better than girls in Maths and Science and that girls study by
rote; and lo! I saw this whole line of girl-toppers cropping up. Then somebody
said they’re fine till here but they’ll never be as good in competitive
examinations and behold, IITian Shubhra Saxena topped the IAS examinations along
with women in the top two and three as well. That was 2009. Today dare you to
utter a phrase that contains something a woman can’t do and I assure you that
the girl standing next will give you 20 logical reasons as to why you’re on the
wrong train. Never have I seen such a pool of talented women out to claim the
world than today; the girl on my right loves to ride horses and the one on my
left dances like a nymph, the one who sits across is an avant-garde artist and
the one who sits next to her, is a coding-pro; the biggest fallacy of today’s
time would be to brand a woman as ordinary. This, does not however mean by any
account that we have been sailing smoothly on a buoyant sea; the challenges are
becoming more varied, more complex and less visible. I was reading in the Harward
Review the significantly higher challenges women leaders face. If she is
to-the-point, business-like and formal, she is masculine. If she tries to be
more involved and informal in her dealing with the team; she is unprofessional
and ‘too nice’. Even your good looks can work for or against you. If you have merit and
have made a place for yourself, chances are there’d always be someone who would
accredit it to your appearance and say mean things; while its unfortunately,
equally possible that a better looking woman can score over you if the people
around you are biased(and blind!) The world is still not as
gender-biased as it should be and we come across sexist remarks every second
day. A minister who has essayed roles in soap operas becomes ‘Aunty-National’
while it is cool to be a ‘Dad-Bod’ and then, aren’t blondes always so dumb? We
have almost quixotic expectations from women. Earlier it used to be a desire
for ‘a convent-educated, beautiful,
homely girl’ which has transformed into a ‘working, convent-educated, beautiful,
homely girl’. So, now as the ideal woman you’re supposed to strike a
complete work-life-balance and manage the household just like you manage your
team, and definitely, in most cases if there’s a need at home it is you Madam
Manager whose moral responsibility it is to rush home. I have seen women
colleagues stay at home when the child falls sick, it is the woman who needs to
change her work if the husband is getting a transfer; although I would not like
to deny the fact that men have also begun to take greater responsibilities
pertaining to the household than before. And I would attribute the greater
empowerment of women to their educational and financial independence; her
education has broadened her perspective while her financial independence
empowers her to move out of dead and ugly situations. Earlier, it was unheard
of a woman to move out of a bad marriage and she would endure domestic violence
considering it as a destined punishment, while today the woman on virtue of her
independence will not stand anything that attempts to crush her self-respect.
Women
have certainly traveled a long course; we have evolved from the oppressed
creature of the dark ages to the enlightened maiden of progress and we still
have to travel an equally far distance to a world where our existence is
celebrated in its purest form, in the way we are, and the way we look and the
orientations that we have. The path
might not be so easy, but then what fun is treading the road more traveled?
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